Expectation v. Possibility

January 10, 2017

What happens when you want a person to respond or react a certain way, and they don't? How many times have you felt disappointed because someone or some thing did not meet your expectations? When we try to control outcomes based on the results that we want to see and those outcomes don't happen, we are left feeling let down. We may even want to place judgment on a person because he or she did not rise to the occasion and perform the way we expected them to. Any time we give our power away and place our emotions, feelings, thoughts, and expectations in the hands of someone else, we are allowing ourselves to be on an emotional roller coaster. Our emotional response is now attached to someone else's actions, whether or not he or she meets the expectations you have set for them determines how you feel. That can lead to emotional instability instead of peace. Brene Brown said it best "disappointment and shame come from setting up expectations."


How can we remove the disappointment, shame, and judgment from this equation? By removing the expectation and replacing it with possibility!!


I like to think of expectation as being a jar with a tightly closed lid on top. The people, including yourself, that you place expectations on, can only reach as high as those expectations. Expectations can be stifling, rigid, and can cap creativity. Expectation is the lid on the jar. However, if instead of expectations, you think of all the possibilities that can happen, you remove the lid from the jar allowing the space for people to be who they are, show up how they want to show up, and grow beyond the expectations you placed on them. Possibility allows the space for abundant and endless growth. It also creates the space for creativity and flow of energy. Possibility removes the judgment and disappointment you experience when your expectations are not met because there are no expectations!


This is especially important when it comes to the expectations we place on ourselves. I remember a couple of years ago, I was completing a fitness test at my gym. Every 90 days, I take a fitness test to find out how my lifestyle habits measure up. Each time, I had expectations of how I wanted to perform and what score I wished to achieve.  This particular time, I was on the treadmill and it was obvious that I was not going to meet the expectation I set for myself for this portion of the test. I completely broke down and was crying while running on the treadmill (I do not advise this. Lol). My trainer came over and discussed the difference between expectation and possibility. I understood that by removing the expectation, I had the ability to perform as powerfully as possible and was able to let go of the judgment and pressure I placed on myself to reach the expectations I set. Knowing that I had a choice and could choose possibility made me feel free and light. It was like the burden of the expectation I put on myself was lifted. I held this thought in my mind at my next fitness test and scored higher! Ever since then, I work towards removing expectations of myself or others and instead choose to think of the possibilities we all have. This way of thinking creates a peaceful experience of life! Are you ready to shift expectation to possibility? 

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