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Email: contact@ejcounselingatl@gmail.com

Phone: 404-482-2035

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Suite 380

Atlanta, Ga 30309

© 2016 Erica James Counseling LLC

 

Blog

Compare much?

October 17, 2016

 

When asked the question "when is your body talk the most uplifting and energizing?" or "when is your body image and self image the highest?" My answer, now, is "when I am not comparing myself to others. When I feel complete in my own skin." There is not a specific time of day or location when I feel powerful, happy, and excited about my body. It's really in the moments that I choose not to measure myself by the standards of others. Yes, it is in moments. Those tiny fractions of time in which I get to decided how I want to feel and how I want to show up. Having empowering and uplifting body talk is a moment by moment choice. I now understand that choice, as well as the consequence of my choice. I can walk into a music festival full of the most beautiful, amazingly dressed people and choose to think "she looks amazing in that outfit, I could never pull off something so daring." Or "look at the way she is dancing without a care in the world, I can't dance well enough to do something like that." I can also choose to think "her hair is so big curly and gorgeous, I wonder how she styles it?!" and "we are all so beautiful and unique, there is enough beauty for all of us, no need to compete!" The way I feel about myself after each of those conversations is vastly different. In the conversation, in which I compare myself to others, I immediately feel judgment and that I am not good enough.  Almost like there is an unattainable standard of beauty that I do not fit into and never will. In the second conversation, when the comparison is not there and I instead think powerful thoughts, I feel powerful, beautiful, and uniquely me. I typically smile more and feel comfortable complimenting others, spreading the love!

 

I feel the most loving toward myself in the moments when I choose not to compare myself to others. If I am feeling insecure or self-doubting, I look within. I try my best not to look to others for their approval or validation. I cannot control the thoughts or actions of others, so to seek self worth from others would be like riding a roller coaster that never ends!

 

How about you? When do you that your body talk is uplifting? When does it feel limiting? Is it with certain people, at events, certain times of day?

 

Love, peace, and light

Erica

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