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Email: contact@ejcounselingatl.com

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Atlanta, Ga 30309

© 2016 Erica James Counseling LLC

 

Blog

It isn't personal

October 10, 2016

 

Happy Monday folks! This week I'd like to talk about how I was able to shift the disempowering thoughts and conversation I had about my body to empowering and powerful thoughts. I cannot remember the specific day or time of year, but I remember thinking to myself "you know what? I am enough. Erica, you are enough and if anyone thinks otherwise, its their loss."

 

In the previous post, I mentioned times when I compared my body to the bodies of other women. I allowed my worth to be defined by how many compliments I received in a given day or how many guys I caught checking me out. When I did not hear any compliments, or caught guys looking my way, I felt terrible and felt that I needed to change something about my appearance. What I am describing happens when you seek external validation. Anytime you look to any thing, person, or place outside of yourself for validation, love, or security, you are doomed to fluctuating feelings and emotions because you cannot control the actions of others. When I realized that I had to validate and seek love from within, I immediately felt a shift in my confidence, energy, and all around personal power.

 

It feels phenomenal to go through my day knowing that my emotions will only shift or change if I want them to, not because of the opinions or thoughts of others. This also gave me a sense of freedom. To know that I could feel however I wanted to feel and did not have to react to what others were thinking or saying about me was freeing. I came to this realization after numerous examples of people saying or doing things, then going on about their business unaffected, yet I was left standing there seemingly damaged. The person who "hurt" me moved on in life as if nothing happened, he or she had no idea of the impact their words had on me. I began to understand that I was the one who chose what impact those words had. Now, if someone says does something that I would be insulted or hurt by in the past, I simply choose not to be hurt nor insulted. I can now see that people are only responding and behaving from the experiences they have had in life and more times than not what they do or say is not personal.

 

Try this out for yourself. The next time you experience something unpleasant or uncomfortable, choose not feel hurt or sad. Instead chose to feel happy and find compassion for that person. Feel how different the experience is.

 

Love, peace, flow

Erica

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